Their behavior is something you should have corrected earlier. When they
lost
respect for you as a parent, you should have taken them to the bedroom
for a old fashion bare bottom spanking like our mothers and fathers once
did. Children in the 30's,40's.50's and 60's all behaved and respected
their families much better than now......when the family started
breaking up, is when all the problems started......nobody wants to work
at anything anymore.....

Kathy Monroe
Toledo Ohio

From:	R. Steve Walz
Subject:	Re: Obnoxious 17 year old
Date:	Sat, 22 Jan 2005 23:44:10 GMT

charles381@webtv.net wrote:
>
> Their behavior is something you should have corrected earlier. When they
> lost
> respect for you as a parent, you should have taken them to the bedroom
> for a old fashion bare bottom spanking like our mothers and fathers once
> did. Children in the 30's,40's.50's and 60's all behaved and respected
> their families much better than now......when the family started
> breaking up, is when all the problems started......nobody wants to work
> at anything anymore.....
>
> Kathy Monroe
> Toledo Ohio
------------------------------
You're blabbing puerile nonsense. There were no "good ole days",
the rest of us know that because we LIVED in them, you're just
too young and stupid to know that!!
Steve

From:	Dan Abel
Subject:	Re: Obnoxious 17 year old
Date:	Wed, 19 Jan 2005 11:57:01 -0800

In article <357oj7F4gog77U1@individual.net>, "Dushichka"
wrote:

> Does any other parent out there actively DISLIKE their teen intensely? :-((

Quite a few. And many of them post here. But usually it works the other way.

The key is remembering that THIS TOO WILL PASS. That'll get you through
the day.

--
Dan Abel
Sonoma State University
AIS
dabel@sonic.net

From:	dragonlady
Subject:	Re: Obnoxious 17 year old
Date:	Wed, 19 Jan 2005 19:46:53 GMT

In article <357oj7F4gog77U1@individual.net>,
"Dushichka" wrote:

> Does any other parent out there actively DISLIKE their teen intensely? :-((
>
>

occassionally...but i never stop loving them, and the moments of
dislike are usually fleeting
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

From:	Dushichka
Subject:	Re: Obnoxious 17 year old
Date:	Wed, 19 Jan 2005 19:52:27 -0000

"dragonlady" wrote in message
news:mehouck-6FC16E.11464519012005@newssvr14-ext.news.prodigy.com...
> In article <357oj7F4gog77U1@individual.net>,
> "Dushichka" wrote:
>
> > Does any other parent out there actively DISLIKE their teen intensely?
:-((
> >
> >
>
> occassionally...but i never stop loving them, and the moments of
> dislike are usually fleeting
> --
> Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care
>

Well he is my son and I do love him - no matter what, and although the
feelings of dislike are intense, they are not fleeting:((
He is just awful, for days at a time and I just cant stand him, for days at
a time !
He is rude, nasty, you name it - and I know this is normal for teens, I was
pretty awful myself, I am surprised at how much I do detest him at times. My
patience and temper are being stretched to the limit.

From:	R. Steve Walz
Subject:	Re: Obnoxious 17 year old
Date:	Thu, 20 Jan 2005 03:07:09 GMT

Dushichka wrote:
>
> > > Does any other parent out there actively DISLIKE their teen intensely?
> :-((
>
> Well he is my son and I do love him - no matter what, and although the
> feelings of dislike are intense, they are not fleeting:((
> He is just awful, for days at a time and I just cant stand him, for days at
> a time !
> He is rude, nasty, you name it - and I know this is normal for teens, I was
> pretty awful myself, I am surprised at how much I do detest him at times. My
> patience and temper are being stretched to the limit.
---------------------------------
Anything you get, it is because you DESERVED it. Stop deserving it
and you'll stop getting it!! It is NOT normal for teens at all, OURS
didn't treat us that way, they loved us because of the way we treated
them! It took nothing exorbitant, hell, we didn't have much, nor any
subservience by us, JUST EQUALITY!

Parents who complain of being treated like shit, ARE SHIT! They just
would like to PRETEND they aren't, and pretend that they SHOULD be
able to demean, degrade, and dishonor their children!! They never
learned how to live with equals! They are still children themselves!

My speech here probably offends you because it sounds just like your
kids!
Steve

From:	dragonlady
Subject:	Re: Obnoxious 17 year old
Date:	Wed, 19 Jan 2005 20:00:25 GMT

In article <357s3tF4l2v94U1@individual.net>,
"Dushichka" wrote:

> "dragonlady" wrote in message
> news:mehouck-6FC16E.11464519012005@newssvr14-ext.news.prodigy.com...
> > In article <357oj7F4gog77U1@individual.net>,
> > "Dushichka" wrote:
> >
> > > Does any other parent out there actively DISLIKE their teen intensely?
> :-((
> > >
> > >
> >
> > occassionally...but i never stop loving them, and the moments of
> > dislike are usually fleeting
> > --
> > Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care
> >
>
> Well he is my son and I do love him - no matter what, and although the
> feelings of dislike are intense, they are not fleeting:((
> He is just awful, for days at a time and I just cant stand him, for days at
> a time !
> He is rude, nasty, you name it - and I know this is normal for teens, I was
> pretty awful myself, I am surprised at how much I do detest him at times. My
> patience and temper are being stretched to the limit.
>
>

Try humor. I was not always able to do that when they were being
abusive, but if you can find a place to get there, it can help.

The other thing is to take a time when things are calm, and tell him you
will not allow anyone -- including him -- to treat you badly. Then,
when he starts the nasty rude stuff, just walk away. Walk into your own
room and sit down with a book.

There was a stretch with one of my kids where I told him he could only
drive our car if he had gone the previous 24 hours without swearing at
me. (His behavior towards me was particularly eggregious.) It didn't
take verty long before he stopped the worst of it.

I know how hard it can be to draw appropriate limits with your kids as
they move through their teens. Some youth are harder to deal with than
others. But it is critical that you draw lines around how they treat
YOU -- but to also model the behavior you want, whether it is being
returned to you are not.
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

From:	R. Steve Walz
Subject:	Re: Obnoxious 17 year old
Date:	Thu, 20 Jan 2005 03:01:21 GMT

dragonlady wrote:
>
> There was a stretch with one of my kids where I told him he could only
> drive our car if he had gone the previous 24 hours without swearing at
> me. (His behavior towards me was particularly eggregious.) It didn't
> take verty long before he stopped the worst of it.
-------------------
Good way to get your tires popped.
Steve

> I know how hard it can be to draw appropriate limits with your kids as
> they move through their teens.
-------------------
You can't, it isn't even possible, you posturing shit.

> Some youth are harder to deal with than
> others. But it is critical that you draw lines around how they treat
> YOU
--------------------
The way they treat YOU is simply an exact reflection of the way they
feel you treat THEM! Get used to THAT *TRUTH*, because NOTHING ELSE
WORKS BUT TREATING THEM AS THEY FEEL THEY SHOULD BE TREATED!! NOTHING!
Steve