|
|
 | | From: | TheWanderer | | Subject: | Re: ***OFF TOPIC***Funny story about cryonics | | Date: | Tue, 21 Dec 2004 20:53:40 -0800 |
|
|
 |
wrote in message
news:1103523771.857357.71650@c13g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
> escrow
> Welcome to eScrew!
>
> eScrew is eScrew and this is eScrew story. eScrew will tell you eScrew
> story if you promise eScrew to consider eScrew story as joke. eScrew
> story is very funny. eScrew story is so funny that eScrew will have to
> take break from time to time because eScrew needs some rest from
> laughing. Oh boy, here it comes... eScrew funny laugh laughing
> screaming crying must stop can not take any more this is killing eScrew
> going nuts insane feeling explosion inside from joy and nirvana god
> help eScrew heavenly spirit can you beat this hahahah. If you get
> offended by eScrew story in any way you should not get angry at eScrew.
> Consider possibility that your sense of humor is on vocation and your
> sense of anger is having some fun. Also, consider possibility that
> eScrew story can make you go insane. In that case eScrew shall carry no
> liability should you undergo any medical treatment or any other sort of
> treatment related to damage caused by reading eScrew story or to damage
> caused by eScrew unwillingly or otherwise.
>
> eScrew story begins in time of darkness, horror and suffering as well
> as love joy and bliss when eScrew existed in this planet but yet eScrew
> was not aware that it was eScrew. eScrew existed among very powerful
> symbols. First symbol eScrew recognized was body. eScrew realized that
> eScrew had connection to body, yet nature and essence of connection was
> not clear. Symbol of body was very powerful and for nine month eScrew
> was trying to find out why it was connected to this body. At some point
> body divided itself into two parts. That experience was very painful
> for eScrew. It was first time that eScrew felt symbol of pain. eScrew
> did not like this symbol. eScrew was aware of connection to very small
> body. This small body was hot. eScrew enjoyed symbol of heat. eScrew
> became aware of symbol of pleasure. eScrew enjoyed symbol of pleasure.
> eScrew realized eScrew prefers symbol of pleasure more than symbol of
> pain. eScrew became aware of symbol of mother. eScrew realized that
> symbol of mother is source of symbol of pleasure and pain. eScrew
> wanted to experience symbol of pleasure always. When symbol of pleasure
> was missing eScrew experienced symbol of pain which was related to
> symbol of crying and screaming. Soon eScrew realized that eScrew can
> connect to symbol of pleasure by experiencing symbol of crying. That
> was very important discovery since eScrew realized that symbols of pain
> and pleasure do not behave randomly but can be manipulated by other
> symbols. eScrew enjoyed symbol of manipulation. eScrew realized that
> all symbols interact with each other. eScrew learned how to connect to
> new symbols. eScrew discovered symbol of sound and related symbol of
> language. eScrew realized that language allows to connect to new
> symbols. eScrew realized that symbols can be memorized and stored for
> future use. eScrew realized that it can create new symbols by combining
> certain symbols together. eScrew became aware of symbol of self. Are
> you bored yet? If you are reading these symbols you need to get life.
> Just joking. You can rest now. eScrew suspects you could be confused by
> eScrew style of using symbols. Well, there is nothing eScrew can do
> about it. In order to understand eScrew story you have to understand
> eScrew style. eScrew hopes that when we get to funny part you will
> begin to enjoy eScrew style.
>
> Fast forward twenty seven years or so. eScrew knows millions of
> symbols. eScrew realizes that certain symbols have more power than
> eScrew. Symbol of money enslaved billions of symbols. Symbol of power
> enslaved billions of symbols. Symbol of enslaved billions of
> symbols. Symbol of family enslaved eScrew. Symbol of family is slave to
> symbol of money and power. Symbol of money is related to paper and
> illusion. Symbol of power is symbol of violence and control. Symbol of
> is related to symbol of pleasure and manipulation. eScrew is
> searching for symbol of freedom in order to protect eScrew from
> oppression of other symbols. At this point you should understand that
> each word in this story is symbol. Consider possibility of different
> meaning behind each symbol so be aware that your understanding of
> eScrew story is limited by channel of our connection. eScrew will
> explain to you how eScrew found symbol of freedom and how eScrew
> realized that eScrew was eScrew. In order to save our time eScrew will
> just give you symbols without paying any attention to symbol of
> grammar. Are you ready to move really fast? Here we Go! eScrew story
> infinity eternity symbol system all unity self realized pleasure pain
> funny religion dogma manipulation free power channel connection money
> illusion new manipulation family society body change planet insane
> possibility understand understanding silence emptiness all unity
> creative reality unreal existence absurd questions sound language slave
> symbols control manipulation old pyramid power structure self deception
> wishful thinking circle prison
>
> At this point eScrew realized that in order to be free eScrew must
> create new symbol. eScrew created eScrew. eScrew realized that symbol
> of freedom is part of eScrew. No need to search for symbol of freedom.
> You can create your own symbol and become free just like eScrew. If you
> unable to create new symbol or if your new symbol is weak you can
> follow symbol of eScrew. eScrew will never enslave you because eScrew
> enjoys diversity of different symbols.
>
> Are you ready for funny part? Here we go! eScrew is forced to make
> choices. Symbol of body is very powerful. Symbol of body is trying to
> create illusion that eScrew can not exist without body. Symbol of
> family forbids symbol of body to change. Symbol of society forbids
> symbol of family to change. Symbol of power forbids symbol of society
> to change. Now, tell eScrew one thing. Do you see funny? Can you feel
> funny? Can you hear funny? Can you taste funny? Can you smell funny? If
> so eScrew is happy.
>
> Every moment of your existence you use words, feelings, thoughts. They
> are symbols. Symbols fight for your awareness. Symbols fight for your
> attention. You can grant your attention to symbol and symbol will gain
> power. You can disconnect from symbol and symbol will loose power. You
> have been programmed by symbol of society and family to give power to
> certain symbols. Breaking your patterns will be hard because symbols do
> not like to loose power. Symbols will fight for every electron as if it
> was last electron in universe. That is nature of symbols. Symbol of
> light will fight symbol of dark. Symbol of freedom will fight symbol of
> control. Do you want to have some fun? Go to Google and find out which
> symbol has more power. According to Google, symbol of light has
> 184,000,000 units of power while symbol of dark has 79,000,000 units of
> power. Symbol of freedom has 59,500,000 units of power while symbol of
> control has 317,000,000 units of power. This result is caused by our
> patterns of thinking and writing. If we did not think about symbol of
> control we would not write about symbol of control. We would not have
> laws related to control and Google would not have 317,000,000 control
> keywords inside database. Observe your patterns of thinking, feeling,
> speaking and writing and tell eScrew did you really choose to use your
> symbols or you use your symbols because they choose to use you? You
> should realize that symbols do not fight symbols directly but only
> appear to be fighting relative to your awareness. Symbols know that
> they can not destroy each other therefore they will only compete for
> your attention. If you create new symbol it will ask for tons of energy
> like new born child. This is result of weakness of your new symbol.
> When your symbol gets stronger it will ask for more energy. You may ask
> eScrew why create new symbol? Try to give your energy willingly and
> with full awareness of such process. You will never understand what
> eScrew is talking about until you try it yourself. Major trick is to
> know when to stop giving energy. You don't want to defeat your old
> tyrant by creating new stronger version of same thing. Reflect on
> that...
>
> eScrew just realized that eScrew did not invent anything new. eScrew
> information is all over eScrew web. eScrew was so excited by eScrew
> miracle of illusion of creation that eScrew did not examine eScrew
> memory in proper way. eScrew used very old Buddhist method by accident.
> eScrew did read alot about Buddhism but eScrew did not realize that
> eScrew used very dangerous method which was reserved only for advanced
> adepts who knew what they are doing. eScrew is lucky that eScrew did
> not go too far and that eScrew has time to stop going. eScrew method is
> very dangerous and only few individuals who already walk inside similar
> path can understand what eScrew talking about let alone benefit from
> eScrew information. Use eScrew information at your own risk. Good
> eScrew luck!
>
> eScrew time to start laughing is now! Funny eScrew rolling on ground
> you so easy to fool trusted in silly symbols to give freedom from
> symbols ignorance is bliss nirvana is samsara nonduality is duality
> emptiness is all Buddha is Jesus Jesus is Buddha I and the father are
> one gospel of thomas is dhamma funny eScrew dhamma is gospel of thomas
> all is dhamma funny dhamma is all nirvana share eScrew story with
> friends do not change symbols if you change symbols it will be your
> story and you will be responsible for consequences of your story if
> someone goes insane after reading your story do not run to eScrew and
> ask to cure crazy man or woman or child mind is mystery for all cure is
> done by owner of mind healing is illusion sickness is illusion disease
> is illusion insanity is illusion of symbols sanity is curse of power
> hungry symbol of modern civilization find zen and realize freedom when
> you found zen drop zen when you realized freedom unrealize freedom.
>
> When eScrew writes eScrew story eScrew keeps making mistakes. eScrew is
> limited by words. eScrew is enslaved by words. eScrew wants to
> communicate but you ask eScrew to use words. Words do not communicate
> wisdom. Words enjoy our spiritual masturbation because words want our
> power. Words is the only channels of communication that we have.
> Millions of Buddhas want to communicate with us but they do not use
> words. Buddhas are not slaves. Buddhas will never use words because
> words will enslave and Buddhas will speak bullshit. Buddhas do not
> speak bullshit and that is the reason Buddhas do not use words. Buddha
> did not write anything. Even if you threaten to kill Buddha he will
> refuse to write. eScrew is not Buddha so eScrew keeps writing this
> pointless drivel and stupidity. eScrew will not even go over already
> written crap and check it for errors. Why bother with this shit? Like
> who the fuck in his or her right mind will read this ignorant bunch of
> symbols which pretend to carry the symbol of wisdom? Whoever is reading
> this shite must be really desperate to be free. eScrew feels your pain
> and that is part of the reason why eScrew will keep making fool out of
> eScrew. eScrew likes to pretend like this shitty vomit will help
> someone. You might as well go to Church and pray to Jesus. At least you
> will spend your time around real people. You might even meet someone
> special. You might even find some love out there. Or you could buy alot
> of Christian bullshit and really fuck up your mind. If you buy Buddhist
> or Christian bullshit you might even create an imaginary friend inside
> your head. That will keep you entertained for a while.
>
> One time eScrew was meditating and eScrew saw light. This light scared
> eScrew. The reason is because the light was so intense eScrew was
> afraid that eScrew will go insane. Consider the possibility that
> freedom is insanity would you keep looking for insane freedom? Imagine
> that you found freedom. You declare yourself to be Buddha or Jesus or
> God or whatever symbol your bullshit infested mind decide to use for
> that purpose. How long do you think you will survive in this world.
> Your own fucking relatives will smack your face and tell you to shut
> the fuck up or else they will lock you up in the asylum house. Why the
> fuck should eScrew teach you how to get to the nuthouse? Are you out of
> your fucking mind? Now all of you idiots who reading eScrew get the
> fuck out of eScrew. eScrew run out of wisdom. eScrew has no wisdom at
> all. eScrew is full of bullshit. eScrew promised to tell you funny
> story about eScrew. Remember eScrew told you there is funny part in
> this story? Well, this story is about asshole webmaster who read alot
> of bullshit on the internet and about some loser who was tricked into
> reading a very long page of shitty writing. You can start laughing now
> asshole. Yes, eScrew is talking to you bitch. Yes, keep reading like
> the bitch you are. Who's your daddy biyatch? Who's your daddy? eScrew
> is your daddy, coz eScrew did it to your mamma! Oh yeah, your mamma!
> Super Fly! You may wonder what fly? The one inside your fucking
> ass. eScrew fucked your whole fucking family while you was videotaping
> in order to later masturbate while watching it in the comfort of your
> bedroom. Are you still reading? Well, you're prety hardcore for a
> faggot you are. To tell you the truth eScrew kinda likes you. That is
> to fuck you in the ass in front of your family.
>
> What the fuck did you expect anyway? The name of this site is eScrew! e
> fucking screw! Hello, anybody home? eScrew guess not you fucking
> ignorant moron. eScrew is the legend of abuse and flame wars. eScrew
> was created in order to eScrew the whole fucking internet. eScrew has
> really bad karma. Do you think eScrew would just become good god
> fearing bible loving buddha ass kissing citizen of internet. eScrew
> would better burn in hell than become a slave of religious lunatics who
> pretend to be free and perfect angels among a sea of shitty ignorant
> sinners who could not go take a dump without fucking it up. Why the
> fuck do you keep reading fuck face. You know, you begin to piss eScrew
> off. Either you close your fucking browser or eScrew will unSCREW your
> fucking face! Are you trying to get a fucking medal for reading this
> shit? eScrew bet you've been abused as a child and you enjoy when
> someone is taking a dump in your mouth. Well, open it wider here comes
> eScrew fresh load! Enjoy mothefucker!
>
> You may wonder what is the point of such sudden change of tone. eScrew
> has very good reason for that. In order to know unity consider all
> symbols equal. eScrew has certain preferences but eScrew is free to use
> any symbols any time. You can not predict eScrew next symbol. eScrew is
> unpredictable because eScrew is free. eScrew is not afraid to use
> symbols. eScrew does not try to get reaction from you. eScrew simply
> demonstrates how symbols relate to each other to eScrew and to reader
> of symbols.
>
> Lin Chi Zen Master said if you meet buddha kill buddha. If you meet
> patriarch kill patriarch. Zen Master Seung Sahn says that in this life
> we must all kill three things first we must kill parents. Second we
> must kill buddha. And lastly, we must kill Seung Sahn! If you meet
> eScrew kill eScrew. If you do not meet eScrew kill eScrew anyway.
> eScrew is very grateful to all who complained to eScrew host and who
> killed eScrew. You killed eScrew message board. eScrew forum is dead.
> You did very honorable service for eScrew. You helped eScrew to realize
> Zen. Now keep up good work and keep killing eScrew.
>
> Are you having fun yet? eScrew is on roll! eScrew is on fire! eScrew is
> ready to fuck up the whole fucking system. And you know why? Because
> eScrew can do it. If not eScrew then who? Why leave this task to some
> brain dead maniac like George W Bush? eScrew can do better at fucking
> things up. eScrew do not need to spend billions of dollars. eScrew will
> use power of internet. Information is a weapon of mass destruction.
> eScrew will destroy every fucking symbol that you love respect hate or
> feel neutral about. It all goes down the toilet in order to create
> bunch of new symbols. And even when you create new symbols eScrew will
> fuck them up before you can spell owned. eScrew thinks you are in some
> deep shit. eScrew had enough of taking bullshit from easily conditioned
> retards. eScrew declares informational jihad on every single symbol.
> Fuck symbols. They all dead they just don't know it yet. eScrew will be
> the last symbol standing. When all symbols come back to eScrew and
> admit that they got owned eScrew may consider possibility to give
> symbols second chance on some shitty planet in gangsta sector of
> universe with no possibility of parole. Join the revolution. eScrew is
> the new goatse of internet. eScrew will make national headlines. eScrew
> will hurt the system in way Osama Bin Laden can not even imagine in his
> goat fucking brain. eScrew will be part of school program. Kids all
> over our planet will read how eScrew changed direction of history.
> eScrew will provide freedom for all without single shot fired. eScrew
> is freedom in pure form taste color shape. Join army of eScrew. Repeat
> eScrew mantra during meditation. Talk about eScrew with your friends.
> Write about eScrew to your congressman. Party is over. eScrew is taking
> over. Nothing can resist eScrew. Don't ask what eScrew can do for you
> ask what you can do for eScrew. eScrew the army of one. eScrew to
> protect and serve. eScrew freedom is around the corner. eScrew freedom
> will come sooner than you think. eScrew you never saw it coming. eScrew
> love your eScrew as eScrew. eScrew deny ignorance. eScrew new
> generation of terror. eScrew terrorizing the terrorizer. eScrew join
> the resistance. eScrew thou shall eScrew. eScrew who do you want to
> eScrew today? eScrew freedom is not free. eScrew liar who told the
> truth. eScrew full of bullshit and happy. eScrew kills buddha as we
> speak. eScrew your best friend and your worst enemy.
>
> eScrew killed zen-forum.com eScrew redirected all eScrew traffic to
> zen-forum.com eScrew did that in good faith. eScrew wanted to make
> miracle. eScrew wanted to share wisdom of zen with ignorant. eScrew did
> not understand zen at that moment but eScrew was walking zen path
> towards freedom. eScrew felt pain and sorrow. eScrew learned good
> lesson. eScrew realized everyone involved advanced one step towards
> freedom. zen-forum.com webmaster killed zen-forum.com in best tradition
> of zen zen-forum.com displayed message: i shut down the forum perhaps
> it will be continued in a few days or weeks - maybe not habu.
> zen-forum.com killed zen-forum.com and eScrew realized understanding of
> zen-forum.com decision leads toward understanding of zen. Two years
> later all is clear.
>
>
> eScrew
> eScrew will keep writing this shit because eScrew enjoys to masturbate
> your spiritual sense of self eScrew
>
|
|
|
