Is there any sense in this saying?

Sometime during Christmas, I saw"gone with the wind" (it makes more
sense everytime I do), and I recall Melanie Hamilton (wife to Ashley
Wilkes) tell Rhett Butler that Scarlet loved him, but she did not know
it. And while I am nigh to dismiss this remark - after all, it came
from a movie - I realized that I might have less trouble accepting the
statement if it only the scriptwriter had had used it in a
pop-psychology book or something. (Still with me?)

Anyway, my questions is, is it possible to love someone and not know it
for a long time? Has anyone had the experience?

ThX

- Olumide

From:	50295 at web.de
Subject:	Re: (S)he loves you, (S)he just doesn't know it - yet.
Date:	21 Jan 2005 08:21:37 -0800

Ok, thanks for the responses (even the OT ones ... LOL). I know I'm
venturing onto movie critique territory here, but the only way I can
explain Melanie's statement is to think of a Rhett as a "possible" (you
know? one of those people you caould fall in love with if only ...) as
far as Scarlet was concerned. And in Scarlet's case, the thing sthat
stood in her way was Aslhley Wilkes; for she had given her heart to him
and would let no one in - untill the end when Malanie died and she was
how the incident shook Ashley. Only then did she realise that she had
"loved a lie", for she though Ashley married Melanie for duty and
tradition, and that he would have otherwise married her. Only then was
her heart free to contemplate Rhett, but alas it was too late. Rhett
had enough, and walked out of her life with the unforgettable words:
"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn"

Ok, you can flame me now.

From:	Lady Chatterly
Subject:	Re: (S)he loves you, (S)he just doesn't know it - yet.
Date:	Fri, 21 Jan 2005 17:51:01 GMT

In article <1106324497.673731.132760@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com>
50295@web.de wrote:
>
>Ok, thanks for the responses (even the OT ones ... LOL). I know I'm
>venturing onto movie critique territory here, but the only way I can
>explain Melanie's statement is to think of a Rhett as a "possible" (you
>know? one of those people you caould fall in love with if only ...) as
>far as Scarlet was concerned. And in Scarlet's case, the thing sthat
>stood in her way was Aslhley Wilkes; for she had given her heart to him
>and would let no one in - untill the end when Malanie died and she was
>how the incident shook Ashley. Only then did she realise that she had
>"loved a lie", for she though Ashley married Melanie for duty and
>tradition, and that he would have otherwise married her. Only then was
>her heart free to contemplate Rhett, but alas it was too late. Rhett
>had enough, and walked out of her life with the unforgettable words:
>"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn"
>
>Ok, you can flame me now.

Count basie topekag.

--
Lady Chatterly

"LOL. I'll have to pop over there. You know somebody is a waste of
oxygen if they get plonked by a bot, jeezus tap dancing christ." --
Rev Turd Fredericks

From:	New Reflection
Subject:	Re: (S)he loves you, (S)he just doesn't know it - yet.
Date:	21 Jan 2005 08:48:21 -0800

In article <1106324497.673731.132760@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com>, 50295@web.de
says...
>
>Ok, thanks for the responses (even the OT ones ... LOL). I know I'm
>venturing onto movie critique territory here, but the only way I can
>explain Melanie's statement is to think of a Rhett as a "possible" (you
>know? one of those people you caould fall in love with if only ...) as
>far as Scarlet was concerned. And in Scarlet's case, the thing sthat
>stood in her way was Aslhley Wilkes; for she had given her heart to him
>and would let no one in - untill the end when Malanie died and she was
>how the incident shook Ashley. Only then did she realise that she had
>"loved a lie", for she though Ashley married Melanie for duty and
>tradition, and that he would have otherwise married her. Only then was
>her heart free to contemplate Rhett, but alas it was too late. Rhett
>had enough, and walked out of her life with the unforgettable words:
>"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn"
>
>Ok, you can flame me now.

No reason to flame: these are legitimate questions, even though they are fiction
based.

Scarlett was a spoiled self centered person. She wanted what she couldnt have.
Some people fall in love with the idea. Today we are sold on the idea that
partners must be perfect for each other and there should be harmony. The
question what is love? isnt easily answered: Why do people in arranged marriages
end up in love with each other? Having low expectations is probably the best way
to stay in love and married.
>

From:	la n.
Subject:	Re: (S)he loves you, (S)he just doesn't know it - yet.
Date:	Thu, 20 Jan 2005 00:55:28 GMT

50295@web.de wrote:
> Is there any sense in this saying?
>
> Sometime during Christmas, I saw"gone with the wind" (it makes more
> sense everytime I do), and I recall Melanie Hamilton (wife to Ashley
> Wilkes) tell Rhett Butler that Scarlet loved him, but she did not know
> it. And while I am nigh to dismiss this remark - after all, it came
> from a movie - I realized that I might have less trouble accepting the
> statement if it only the scriptwriter had had used it in a
> pop-psychology book or something. (Still with me?)
>
> Anyway, my questions is, is it possible to love someone and not know it
> for a long time? Has anyone had the experience?
>
> ThX
>
> - Olumide
>

I think that sometimes it's hard to know the difference between
infatuation, extreme interest, having a crush, and being in love. A
woman may feel that she is in love but not trust her feelings for fear
of being hurt, her love not being reciprocated, or a belief that maybe
she's thinking irrationally. Let us call this woman Scarlet.

Now, having said that, women are very attuned to other women's signals
in a way that men are not. Let us introduce Melanie to the scenario.
Melanie cannot help but notice that every time Rhett enters a room,
Scarlet's eyes light up, she mildly blushes, fiddles with a lock of her
hair and hangs on to his every word. Melanie is thinking to herself,
"Scarlet, girlfriend, either you have a strange allergic reaction to
every mention and every apparition of Rhett .... or you're in love!"

If it is Melanie's wont to play matchmaker, she will artfully approach
Rhett and plant a seed, just "knowing" that the two of them - he and
Scarlet - would be good for each other.

And, if Rhett responds - upon Melanie's insinuations - to Scarlet in a
way that is meaningful to Scarlet, it will take his and Scarlet's
relationship to a new level, a mutual falling in love. This thing
called falling in love is an unconscious collapsing of personal
boundaries over which each partner seemingly has no control. And you
feel safe enough with the other to trust him/her with your secrets,
your love, and to "complete" you.

On the other hand, you can "fall in love" and choose not to act upon it,
in which case you head for the hills lickety-split metaphorically speaking.

- la n.

From:	New Reflection
Subject:	Re: (S)he loves you, (S)he just doesn't know it - yet.
Date:	19 Jan 2005 17:40:28 -0800

In article <4kDHd.36529$06.16609@clgrps12>, la n. says...
>
women are very attuned to other women's signals
>in a way that men are not.

????

Is this where we wear tin foil hats?

I can't make this up :)

--
"The arrogance of power must be countered with reason,
force with dialogue, pointed weapons with outstretched
hands, evil with good."
- Pope John Paul II

From:	Bush Won!
Subject:	Re: (S)he loves you, (S)he just doesn't know it - yet.
Date:	Thu, 20 Jan 2005 12:38:34 -0500

On 19 Jan 2005 17:40:28 -0800, New Reflection
wrote:

>In article <4kDHd.36529$06.16609@clgrps12>, la n. says...
>>
> women are very attuned to other women's signals
>>in a way that men are not.
>
>
>????
>
>Is this where we wear tin foil hats?

Why? Did you lose yours?

>
>I can't make this up :)

From:	New Reflection
Subject:	Re: (S)he loves you, (S)he just doesn't know it - yet.
Date:	20 Jan 2005 14:54:31 -0800

In article <54rvu0plfc6m58rojgflpnrcomur61hog5@4ax.com>, Bush Won! says...
>
>On 19 Jan 2005 17:40:28 -0800, New Reflection
> wrote:
>
>>In article <4kDHd.36529$06.16609@clgrps12>, la n. says...
>>>
>> women are very attuned to other women's signals
>>>in a way that men are not.
>>
>>
>>????
>>
>>Is this where we wear tin foil hats?
>
>Why? Did you want mine?

When you pray to your pagans do you wear special spirit attracting jewerly and
light candles?

--
"The arrogance of power must be countered with reason,
force with dialogue, pointed weapons with outstretched
hands, evil with good."
- Pope John Paul II

From:	la n.
Subject:	Re: (S)he loves you, (S)he just doesn't know it - yet.
Date:	Thu, 20 Jan 2005 02:32:50 GMT

New Reflection wrote:

> In article <4kDHd.36529$06.16609@clgrps12>, la n. says...
>
> women are very attuned to other women's signals
>
>>in a way that men are not.
>
>
>
> ????
>
> Is this where we wear tin foil hats?
>
> I can't make this up :)
>
>

So, you've never been in love? Never witnessed another
woman in love? Women intuitively pick up on those cues
better than men. It could be that you're not an
intuitive type.

Women, especially friends, can be so attuned to each
other to the point that it can involve biochemistry so that
they experience menstrual synchronicity.

I don't make it up either. I've studied and read
up on the subject.

Oh, and experienced it.

HTH

- la n.

From:	New Reflection
Subject:	Re: (S)he loves you, (S)he just doesn't know it - yet.
Date:	19 Jan 2005 20:18:30 -0800

In article , la n. says...
>
>New Reflection wrote:
>
>> In article <4kDHd.36529$06.16609@clgrps12>, la n. says...
>>
>> women are very attuned to other women's signals
>>
>>>in a way that men are not.
>>
>>
>>
>> ????
>>
>> Is this where we wear tin foil hats?
>>
>> I can't make this up :)
>>
>>
>
>
>So, you've never been in love?

Huh?

what has that go do with your comment: "women are very attuned to other women's
signals"

Unless you really are a believer in the psychic hotline network, that comment is
a lot of horse rubbish.

--
"The arrogance of power must be countered with reason,
force with dialogue, pointed weapons with outstretched
hands, evil with good."
- Pope John Paul II

From:	Viper
Subject:	Re: (S)he loves you, (S)he just doesn't know it - yet.
Date:	Thu, 20 Jan 2005 14:16:41 -0500

"New Reflection" wrote in message
news:csnbem01med@drn.newsguy.com...
> In article , la n. says...
> >
> >New Reflection wrote:
> >
> >> In article <4kDHd.36529$06.16609@clgrps12>, la n. says...
> >>
Snipped for brevity

> Unless you really are a believer in the psychic hotline network, that
comment is
> a lot of horse rubbish.
>
>
Which is something I've always been curious about. If Dionne (Warwick) and
her friends were truly psychic, why couldn't they see the bankruptcy coming?

From:	la n.
Subject:	Re: (S)he loves you, (S)he just doesn't know it - yet.
Date:	Thu, 20 Jan 2005 05:07:15 GMT

New Reflection wrote:

> In article , la n. says...
>
>>New Reflection wrote:
>>
>>
>>>In article <4kDHd.36529$06.16609@clgrps12>, la n. says...
>>>
>>> women are very attuned to other women's signals
>>>
>>>
>>>>in a way that men are not.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>????
>>>
>>>Is this where we wear tin foil hats?
>>>
>>>I can't make this up :)
>>>
>>>
>>
>>
>>So, you've never been in love?
>
>
> Huh?
>
> what has that go do with your comment: "women are very attuned to other women's
> signals"
>
>
> Unless you really are a believer in the psychic hotline network, that comment is
> a lot of horse rubbish.
>
>

Signals = nonverbal cues.

Geddit?

- la n.

From:	New Reflection
Subject:	Re: (S)he loves you, (S)he just doesn't know it - yet.
Date:	19 Jan 2005 21:46:40 -0800

In article <70HHd.4467$Qb.1604@edtnps89>, la n. says...
>
>New Reflection wrote:
>
>> In article , la n. says...
>>
>>>New Reflection wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>>In article <4kDHd.36529$06.16609@clgrps12>, la n. says...
>>>>
>>>> women are very attuned to other women's signals
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>>in a way that men are not.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>????
>>>>
>>>>Is this where we wear tin foil hats?
>>>>
>>>>I can't make this up :)
>>>>
>>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>So, you've never been in love?
>>
>>
>> Huh?
>>
>>what has that go do with your comment: "women are very attuned to other women's
>> signals"
>>
>>
>>Unless you really are a believer in the psychic hotline network, that comment is
>> a lot of horse rubbish.
>>
>>
>
>
>Signals = nonverbal cues.
>
Now you're changing the context of your statement which again I repeat:

"women are very attuned to other women's signals"

When someone is in love, (Man or Woman) the man or woman may change some of
their behaviors and habits which anyone can observe: These will be obvious
_physical_ clues, such as staring into space, or sighing, or listening to love
songs, etc., etc.

These cues can be discerned by _anyone_ , not just women. It doesn't require
one to tune in and it hardly requires a special skill-set inherent only in
women.

--
"The arrogance of power must be countered with reason,
force with dialogue, pointed weapons with outstretched
hands, evil with good."
- Pope John Paul II

From:	la n.
Subject:	Re: (S)he loves you, (S)he just doesn't know it - yet.
Date:	Thu, 20 Jan 2005 06:17:13 GMT

New Reflection wrote:

> In article <70HHd.4467$Qb.1604@edtnps89>, la n. says...
>
>>New Reflection wrote:
>>
>>
>>>In article , la n. says...
>>>
>>>
>>>>New Reflection wrote:
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>>In article <4kDHd.36529$06.16609@clgrps12>, la n. says...
>>>>>
>>>>>women are very attuned to other women's signals
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>>in a way that men are not.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>????
>>>>>
>>>>>Is this where we wear tin foil hats?
>>>>>
>>>>>I can't make this up :)
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>So, you've never been in love?
>>>
>>>
>>>Huh?
>>>
>>>what has that go do with your comment: "women are very attuned to other women's
>>>signals"
>>>
>>>
>>>Unless you really are a believer in the psychic hotline network, that comment is
>>>a lot of horse rubbish.
>>>
>>>
>>
>>
>>Signals = nonverbal cues.
>>
>
> Now you're changing the context of your statement which again I repeat:
>
> "women are very attuned to other women's signals"

And you seemed to confuse "signals" with weird transmissions
Note: your comment about tinfoil hats and psychic readings.

>
> When someone is in love, (Man or Woman) the man or woman may change some of
> their behaviors and habits which anyone can observe: These will be obvious
> _physical_ clues, such as staring into space, or sighing, or listening to love
> songs, etc., etc.
>
> These cues can be discerned by _anyone_ , not just women. It doesn't require
> one to tune in and it hardly requires a special skill-set inherent only in
> women.
>
>

We are talking about the poster's Melanie/Rhett/Scarlet scenario.
Remember? Nevertheless, Danimal can discourse better on how
difficult it is for men to pick up on women's signals. Rhett
may have been oblivious to Scarlet's signals, but Melanie
wasn't. I suspect it might have something to do with the
thickness of the male brain's corpus collosum or the way he is
socialized or his compartmentalized manner of thinking and
narrow concentration path. Women tend to look more at the "big
picture", the gestalt of the situation.

Who doesn't know situations where women have been frustrated
with their men for not picking up on their feelings. That's
what makes men feel crazy that they're expected to be mind
readers. Women are more likely to think that if they love
their man and their man loves them, the man will always be
able to pick up on her feelings. However, this is not the
case.

And women are just generally more intuitive than men. Period.

Enuff of this for tonight ... it's feeling too much like
work ... I'm off to bed with a good book ...

toodles ...

- la n.

From:	New Reflection
Subject:	Re: (S)he loves you, (S)he just doesn't know it - yet.
Date:	19 Jan 2005 23:20:31 -0800

In article , la n. says...
>
>New Reflection wrote:
>
>> In article <70HHd.4467$Qb.1604@edtnps89>, la n. says...
>>
>>>New Reflection wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>>In article , la n. says...
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>>New Reflection wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>>In article <4kDHd.36529$06.16609@clgrps12>, la n. says...
>>>>>>
>>>>>>women are very attuned to other women's signals
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>>in a way that men are not.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>????
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Is this where we wear tin foil hats?
>>>>>>
>>>>>>I can't make this up :)
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>So, you've never been in love?
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>Huh?
>>>>
>>>>what has that go do with your comment: "women are very attuned to other women's
>>>>signals"
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>Unless you really are a believer in the psychic hotline network, that comment is
>>>>a lot of horse rubbish.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>Signals = nonverbal cues.
>>>
>>
>> Now you're changing the context of your statement which again I repeat:
>>
>> "women are very attuned to other women's signals"
>
>And you seemed to confuse "signals" with weird transmissions
>Note: your comment about tinfoil hats and psychic readings.
>
>>
>> When someone is in love, (Man or Woman) the man or woman may change some of
>> their behaviors and habits which anyone can observe: These will be obvious
>>_physical_ clues, such as staring into space, or sighing, or listening to love
>> songs, etc., etc.
>>
>> These cues can be discerned by _anyone_ , not just women. It doesn't require
>> one to tune in and it hardly requires a special skill-set inherent only in
>> women.
>>
>>
>
>
>We are talking about the poster's Melanie/Rhett/Scarlet scenario.
>Remember? Nevertheless, Danimal can discourse better on how
>difficult it is for men to pick up on women's signals.

This is a silly notion women have this sense men do not possess. It's a
whimsical notion not based in reality. Signs are there. People observe it and
notice a change in another's behavior. Women are not born with some inherent
magical trait to detect if another woman in love.

Just like other abilities, the ability to observe behavior changes in others
depends on a person's willingness to observe and take note. It's not a surprise
Dan doesn't have a clue. He's a nerd. Some nerds are not good at it.

Though there are extra special nerds who detect a change in others instantly
:)Check out meyers-briggs temperment sorter. You'll get an idea the best types
who are able to detect someone's emotional state.

--
"The arrogance of power must be countered with reason,
force with dialogue, pointed weapons with outstretched
hands, evil with good."
- Pope John Paul II

From:	Lady Chatterly
Subject:	Re: (S)he loves you, (S)he just doesn't know it - yet.
Date:	Wed, 19 Jan 2005 18:21:52 GMT

In article <1106151203.173627.307660@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com>
50295@web.de wrote:
>
>Is there any sense in this saying?
>
>Sometim

the believe this for you the ticking off and I give something like ten
to one of them spoke their native languages and was put on the 11 00
news last night.

>Anyway, my questions is, is it possible to love someone and not know it
>for a long time? Has anyone had the experience?

And maybe they won.

--
Lady Chatterly

"That's been my feeling too for 'Lady Chatterly'; almost purely random
non-sequiturism. But with some *few* 'personalized' fortune cookies
that indicate that some 'real' person is watching/controlling." --
Zinj

From:	New Reflection
Subject:	Re: (S)he loves you, (S)he just doesn't know it - yet.
Date:	19 Jan 2005 12:50:40 -0800

In article <1106151203.173627.307660@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com>, 50295@web.de
says...
>
>Is there any sense in this saying?
>
>Sometime during Christmas, I saw"gone with the wind" (it makes more
>sense everytime I do), and I recall Melanie Hamilton (wife to Ashley
>Wilkes) tell Rhett Butler that Scarlet loved him, but she did not know
>it. And while I am nigh to dismiss this remark - after all, it came
>from a movie - I realized that I might have less trouble accepting the
>statement if it only the scriptwriter had had used it in a
>pop-psychology book or something. (Still with me?)
>
>Anyway, my questions is, is it possible to love someone and not know it
>for a long time? Has anyone had the experience?
>

Writers use ideas from their own experiences. Everything is possible. Why not?
Sometimes life is so complicated, the idea of love escapes you in the quagmire
called Life, and when one can reflect one realizes what they were/are feeling.
>

--
"The arrogance of power must be countered with reason,
force with dialogue, pointed weapons with outstretched
hands, evil with good."
- Pope John Paul II

From:	50295 at web.de
Subject:	Re: (S)he loves you, (S)he just doesn't know it - yet.
Date:	21 Jan 2005 10:15:49 -0800

You hit the nail on the head bro! ... or should I make that sis?

PS:
You speak heap plenty truth. Why dont you want your messages archived