ED CONRAD FINDS A FRIEND IN JESUS -- Opps, I Mean Larry King

Subject:	ED CONRAD FINDS A FRIEND IN JESUS -- Opps, I Mean Larry King
Date:	Wed, 3 Feb 2010 07:07:16 -0800 (PST)

<
For those who unfortunately missed it, the following
is a partial transcript of Ed Conrad's appearance on
Larry King Live a few weeks ago. It was his final interview before his
brain was removed and donated
to Science.
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<
> PARTIAL TRANSCRIPT OF LARRY KING LIVE
> (Comments Protected by CNN Copyright)
<
LARRY: Ed, you're the first person without a brain I've ever
inteviewed, except for Georgie Bush Jr., Sarah Palin, Sen. Joe
Lieberman and Glenn Beck. How does it feel?
<
ED: Great, Larry! See, I'll never be convicted of murder because,
without a brain, I'm legally insane. Actually, I can get away with
anything including shoplifting at
Wal-Mart or Cabella's
<.
LARRY: Ed, I understand that the Scientific Establishment refused to
accept the donation of your brain for scientific research or to put on
permanent dispay at the Smithsonian. Any comment?
<
ED: See, Larry, the Smithsonian has a lot of longtiime employees who
are either brain-dead or brainless. I suppose the Secretary didn't
want to make any of them jealous.
<
LARRY: I understand, since you were quite depressed by their rejecton,
you became the very first person to auction off his brain on eBay.
<
ED: I really love money, Larry, and the more the merrier. I knew it
would turn me into Brussels Sprouts and a few other veggies but at
least I know I'd die with a nice healthy bank account. Unfortunately,
there were no bids.
<
LARRY: Ed, why do you continually post a long list of news agencies
and newspapers taking up precious computer resources and making our
great nation more susceptible to overthrow by ferin powers?
<
ED: Because I'm a freakin' jerk. I'm not quite a nincompoop but I
digure I'm pretty close
<
LARRY: Ed, please be honest. Do you have ANYONE in your corner after
nearly 30 years?
<
ED: Who gives a sh*t? Larry. I'm right and the evolutionists, atheists
and Manchurian Candidate college graduates are dead wrong with their
belief in man's evolution. Someday they'll be sorry, when they have a
pitchfork up their ass.
<
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Kate Smith's "God Bless America" can be heard faintly in the
background as Larry King shows his millions of viewers photos of mind-
boggling fossils --some human -- that Ed Conrad has discovered
between coal veins.
<
PETRIFIED HUMAN REMAINS INSIDE COAL
SEAMS MEANS EVOLUTION PURE CRAP
<
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/FINGERSx.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/OldestHumanSkull.JPG
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/z11calv.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/Skullx.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/skullb.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/SkullBoulderSide.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/z8femur.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/FOSSILS08/HumanFemur.jpg
<
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/newtibia.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/HumanJaw3.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/TestResults.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/FirstDiscovery.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/OldestTool.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/MoreFossils.jpg
<
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/InSlate3.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/InSlate2.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/InSlate11.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/GallBladder1.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/GallBladder2.jpg
<
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/GallBladdery.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/Scorpion.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/PetrifiedPP.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/newtibia.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/HumanJaw3.jpg
<
LARRY: HOLY SHIT, Ed! Where did you find these incredible evolution-
destroying fossils that beat the living crap out of Charley Darwin's
theory?
<
ED: Please keep this confidential, Larry, but here's
a map showing spectacular cross-section of coal veins beneath Mahanoy
City, Pa., where I found them. The most golden rule of geology is
that coal was formed a minimum of 280 million years ago, meaning that
man, in almost our present form, had inhabited the earth eons before
Charles Darwin and his Pied Piper
evolutionists claim we evolved from sardines.
<
LARRY: The century-old mining map confirms, beyond all reasonable
doubt, that an asteroid, meteor or comet had struck the earth and
offers the undeniable physical evidence of a catastrophe that boggles
the mind
<
(Larry shows viewers a map whilch Ed informs them that they can click
on to make it much lot larger.)
<
< THE ANATOMY OF A CATACLYSM
< "Oh, the Humanity"
<
http://www.wretch.cc/album/show.php?i=3Dlin440315&b=3D22&f=3D1472383101&p=
=3D61
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LARRY: Ed, you're definitely not an idiot as the Pseudoscientists say.
You're a freakin' genius like Copernicus, Galileo, Edison, Einstein,
Immanuel Velikovsky and Stephen Colbert.
<
ED: I agree!
<
LARRY: Ed, is it true that you're also quite a poet?
<
ED: If I were humble, Larry, I would say"NO!" But being honest, I
can tell you that INDEED I am. In fact, I just happen to have two of
my poems with me on these large cardboard signs aside my chair so
everyone can read -- or sing -- them.
<
BALLS OF FIRE
Ed's dead, you said!
I hope it's true!
It's time for celebration.
He's squeezed our balls
'Til black and blue
And I've run out of medication.
<
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/72/The_scrotum071007.jpg
<
LARRY: Pretty damn good, Ed! I'd say you're way better than Ogden
Nash. Now how about showing our viewers your other poem.
<
COPS AND ROBBERS
The pseudos, their interests so vested
And Poor Truth, for too long molested.
Their deceit and deception
Near the point of perfection
If it were my call, they'd ALL be arrested
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LARRY: Folks, we almost have run out of time. But we'd like to hear
from at least one telephone caller with a question or comment.
<
Hello, Las Vegas, your question or comment, pleasel
<
GRUFF MAFIA-LIKE VOICE: If I wanted to see fundamentalist crap, or
fellow fundamentalists jerking each other off, I'd have watched
"American Morons." Sprout your crap somewhere else, you idiots.
<
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<
UPDATED NOTE FROM LARRY
<
Please note that, since Ed Conrad's recent death after
donating his brain to Science, one of his priceless fossils is up for
sale on eBay -- CHEAP. It is Item No. 130363335780 or you can call it
up by inserting primate leg bone.
<
This is the very last photo of Ed Conrad.
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/TightFit.jpg
The only thing missing are the pigeons.
<
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<
100 LARGEST U.S. NEWSPAPERS
USA Today (2,281,831; No Sunday edition)
The Wall Street Journal (2,070,498; None)
The New York Times (1,121,623; 1,680,582)
Los Angeles Times (907,997; 200,065)
Washington Post (740,947; 1,000,565)
The Daily News (708,773); 835,121)
New York Post (643,086; 427,039)
Chicago Tribune (565,679; 953,814)
Houston Chronicle (527,744; 720,711)
Dallas Morning News (477,493; 655,809)
San Francisco Chronicle (468,739; 510,844)
Newsday - New York (459,305; 521,498)
The Arizona Republic (452,016; 574,798)
Chicago Sun-Times (432,230; 359,123)
The Boston Globe (429,552; 672,882)
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution (396,888; 610,338)
The Star-Ledger - New Jersey (382,055; 591,272)
Star Tribune - Minneapolis (378,316; 655,198)
Detroit Free Press (370,875; 682,798)
Philadelphia Inquirer (364,974; 744,242)
The Plain Dealer - Cleveland (348,416; 463,482)
St. Petersburg Times - Florida (337,515; 432,231)
The Oregonian - Portland (332,829; 398,694)
The San Diego Union-Tribune (332,273; 363,907)
The Denver Post (321,405; 735,621)
Rocky Mountain News - Denver - (320,345; 735,621)
The Miami Herald (312,811; 429,697)
The Sacramento Bee (305,394; 341,157)
The Orange County Register - Calif. (300,972; 363,907)
St. Louis Post-Dispatch (284,473; 445,713)
The Kansas City Star (278,937; 383,123)
San Jose Mercury News (276,166; 310,520)
The Detroit News (263,703; 682,798)
The Times-Picayune - New Orleans (261,573; 288,706)
South Florida Sun-Sentinel (260,316; 359,772)
The Indianapolis Star (254,437; 357,284)
The Orlando Sentinel (251,998; 368,562)
The Sun - Baltimore (246,584; 430,675)
San Antonio Express-News (245,034; 352,974)
The Columbus Dispatch (244,280; 357,839)
Milwaukee Journal Sentinel (241,556; 411,749)
Tampa Tribune (238,743; 315,407)
The Boston Herald (238,569; 150,352)
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette (237,867; 401,380)
Fort Worth Star-Telegram (237,554; 333,933)
The Charlotte Observer (230,901; 282,990)
The Seattle Times (229,584; 457,010)
The Oklahoman (219,350; 294,686)
The Courier-Journal - Louisville (215,734; 276,032)
The Virginian-Pilot (198,273; 232,256)
The Cincinnati Enquirer (195,449; 296,989)
The Buffalo News (194,225; 277,921)
Omaha World-Herald (194,222; 240,026)
The Hartford Courant (190,572; 265,249)
Saint Paul Pioneer Press (190,374; 247,495)
Richmond Times-Dispatch (188,893; 226,134)
The Press-Enterprise - Riverside, CA (188,228; 185,060)
Contra Costa (CA) Times (187,042; 197,423)
Arkansas Democrat-Gazette - Little Rock (184,659; 279,485)
Austin American-Statesman (184,398; 230,229)
The Palm Beach (FL) Post (181,626; 217,634)
The Record - Hackensack, NJ (179,538; 213,289)
Daily News - Woodland Hills, CA (176,548; 200,065)
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The Tennessean- Nashville (175,834; 234,957)
The Commercial Appeal - Memphis, TN (172,195; 228,761)
The Florida Times-Union - Jacksonville (168,014; 227,391)
Democrat and Chronicle - Rochester, NY (167,696; 223,718)
Las Vegas Review-Journal (167,586; 220,723)
The Fresno Bee (166,554; 192,203)
The Providence Journal (164,980; 231,117)
Asbury Park Press - Neptune, NJ (153,557; 206,182)
The Birmingham News (153,378; 185,484)
The Des Moines Register (150,907; 239,367)
Daily Herald - Arlington Heights, IL (149,595; 149,179)
Tulsa World (148,000; 198,000)
The Honolulu Advertiser (145,197; 163,446)
The Akron Beacon Journal (143,799; 184,825)
Seattle Post-Intelligencer (141,744; 457,010)
The Grand Rapids Press (139,100; 184,848)
The Journal News - White Plains, NY (138,539; 156,566)
Dayton Daily News (135,936; 180,944)
The Blade - Toledo, OH (134,037; 176,823)
The Salt Lake Tribune (130,351; 150,852)
The News Tribune - Tacoma, WA (128,937; 143,937)
Sarasota Herald-Tribune (123,231; 145,084)
The Knoxville News-Sentinel (121,917; 153,779)
La Opinion - Los Angeles, CA (119,735; 66,973)
Philadelphia Daily News (118,822; None)
Post-Standard - Syracuse, NY (118,605; 171,967)
Morning Call - Allentown, PA (117,717; 159,383)
The News Journal - New Castle, DE (117,389; 137,849)
Lexington (KY) Herald-Leader (116,894; 147,208)
The State Columbia, SC (116,254; 148,610)
The Arizona Daily Star - Tucson (113,296; 174,427)
The Daytona Beach News-Journal (112,278; 128,312)
East Valley Tribune - Mesa, AZ (109,637; 88,115)
Albuquerque Journal (108,177; 150,787)
The Patriot News - Harrisburg, PA (102,710; 151,583)
News-Press - Fort Myers, FL(100,770; 121,163)

100 LARGEST WORLD NEWSPAPERS
Rank Title Country Circulation (000)
1 Yomiuri Shimbun Japan 14,067,000
2 The Asahi Shimbun Japan 12,121,000
3 Mainichi Shimbun Japan 5,587,000
4 Nihon Keizai Shimbun Japan 4,635
5 Chunichi Shimbun Japan 4,512
6 Bild Germany 3,867
7 Sankei Shimbun Japan 2,757
8 Canako Xiaoxi (Beijing) China 2,627
9 People's Daily China 2,509
10 Tokyo Sports Japan 2,425
11 The Sun United Kingdom 2,419
12 The Chosun Ilbo South Korea 2,378
13 USA Today USA 2,310
14 The Wall Street Journal USA 2,107
15 Daily Mail UK 2,093
16 The Joongang Ilbo South Korea 2,084
17 The Dong-A Ilbo South Korea 2,052
18 Nikkan Sports Japan 1,965
19 Hokkaido Shimbun Japan 1,922
20 Dainik Jagran India 1,911
21 Yangtse Evening Post China 1,715
22 Sports Nippon Japan 1,711
23 The Nikkan Gendai Japan 1,686
24 Times of India India 1,680
25 Guangzhou Daily China 1,650
26 The Mirror UK 1,597
27 Yukan Fuji Japan 1,559
28 Shizuoka Shimbun Japan 1,479
29 Nanfang City News (Guangzhou) China 1,410
30 Dainik Bhaskar India 1,405
31 Sankei Sports Japan 1,368
32 Hochi Shimbun Japan 1,354
33 Yangcheng Evening News (Guangzhou) China 1,320
34 Malayala Manorama India 1,309
35 Liberty Times Taiwan 1,300
36 Thai Rath Thailand 1,200
37 New York Times USA 1,121
38 Hindustan Times India 1,108
39 Chutian Metro Daily (Wuhan) China 1,084
40 Gujarat Samachar India 1,051
41 Ananda Bazar Patrika India 1,046
42 Xinmin Evening News (Shanghai) China 1,045
43 Eenadu India 1,039
44 Nishi-Nippon Shimbun Japan 1,025
45 Kronen Zeitung Austria 1,009
46 WAZ Mediengruppe Germany 1,001
47 United Daily News Taiwan 1,000
48 China Times Taiwan 1,000
49 Daily Sports Japan 999
50 The Hindu India 989
51 Hindustan India 957
52 Beijing Evening News China 950
53 Mathrubhumi India 904
54 Los Angeles Times USA 902
55 Information Times China 900
56 Daily News Thailand 900
57 Al-Ahram Egypt 900
58 Peninsula City News China 860
59 Kom Chad Luek Thailand 850
60 Kyoto Shimbun Japan 825
61 Kobe Shimbun Japan 821
62 Punjab Kesari India 817
63 Komsomolskaya Pravda Russia 817
64 Rajasthan Patrika India 804
65 Dahe Newspaper China 796
66 Chugoku Shimbun Japan 789
67 Ouest France France 783
68 Daily Sakai India 783
69 Jang Pakistan 775
70 AJ India 759
71 De Telegraaf The Netherlands 753
72 Qianjiang Evening News China 750
73 Qilu Evening News China 750
74 Nanfang Daily China 750
75 Daily Thanthi India 750
76 Moskovskiy Komsomolets Russia 750
77 Sandesh India 743
78 Daily Express UK 720
79 New York Daily News USA 715
80 The Washington Post USA 708
81 Daily Star UK 705
82 Today Evening News China 699
83 New York Post USA 686
84 Corriere della Sera Italy 677
85 Wuhan Evening News China 660
86 Modern Express China 651
87 Yanzhao Metro Daily China 650
88 Metro Express China 650
89 Zeitungsgruppe Koln Germany 628
90 Kahoku Shimpo Japan 622
91 La Repubblica Italy 622
92 Trud Russia 613
93 Beijing Youth Daily China 606
94 Chicago Tribune USA 601
95 New Express China 600
96 Daily Sunshine China 600
97 Matichon Thailand 600
98 Khao Sod Thailand 600
99 Apple Daily Taiwan 600
100 Min Sheng Pao Taiwan 600
<
"Be ashamed to die until you have won
some victory for mankind."
< -- Horace Mann
< Conclusion to commencement
< address at Antioch College, 1859
<
"I'm not quite there yet, Professor Mann.
But it isn't because I ain't trying."
< -- Ed Conrad
<
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talk.origins at Ediacara University -- David Iain Greig, anchor
<
A FEW EUROPEAN NEWSPAPERS
National Newspapers of Germany
Bild-Zeitung
Die Sueddeutsche Zeitung
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Die Tageszeitung
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Handelsblatt
<
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L'Unit=E0
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<
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<
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<
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